Grencia Mars Elijah Guo Eckener meets Midvalley
by Carina Frost
Summary: Woah...the title of this is too long to fit...Anyway, here we have a lovely crossover of Cowboy Bebop and Trigun. It's a face off of the two best saxophonests! Be prepared for ooc and...well crazyness. oneshot


-Okay, first off, I'm pretty much 'Lindy the Sax Geek'…A.K.A.band freak. Yeah…I play saxophone, which is why I like Midvalley and Gren so much. So of course I wrote a fan fiction where they have a sax war! Muhahah, and of course, I had to throw in band humor. Because I'm that weird.

-This is a one shot…therefore I apologize for the pure insanity of ahead of time.

-I don't own Cowboys, although I'm pretty good at bebop, and I'm still really far away from owning Trigun. Wow, I need to get better at writing funny disclaimers.

-I don't know if I want to continue writing this. I guess if you guys like it I will.

* * *

**Grencia Mars Elijah Guo Eckener meets Midvalley the Horn Freak**

Midvalley the Horn Freak. You know, ever since he started taking those music lessons he's been more outgoing. In high school he used to be a bit shyer. But as long as he's got his saxophone he'll continue to be…saxual.

Then we've got Grencia Mars Elijah Guo Eckener. That kid's always been a dreamer. Wanting to go back to the moon, wanting to be with Vicious, wanting to play his crazy saxophone, always wanting more. He's always got his head in the clouds. They say his playing is vicious, but all he ever wanted was Vicious, so that's not really a compliment to him.

So, Midvalley was taking a break from all that hard, 'gatta catch Vash, gatta follow Knives, and please Legato in more than one way' stuff. He just wanted to relax in some empty town somewhere. Maybe play on the streets for money. It's always good to have a couple extra bucks in your back pocket, ya know?

And then there's Gren. He's got a couple days off, Tuesdays and Sundays. That's when the jazz band comes to entertain at the Blue Crow. He's usually plotting something on those days. But this Tuesday he had rather empty. Well, maybe he'd just go around town and see what was going on.

Midvalley found a cool little town. It was Tuesday, about nine in the morning. Nice and early, yeah. Something was odd about it though. There was a lack of women. A serious one. Oh well. Midvalley wasn't here to capture the ladies hearts. Maybe he'd do that tomorrow. He figured that he would play on some congested street corner.

Sometimes when Gren was really bored, he'd walk around in that dress Julia bought him as a joke. You know, just to stir up trouble. You know, ever since he was put in that camp his head's been a little screwy.

Midvalley was all set up, saxophone case open for people to toss their hard earned money in, saxophone all warmed up. He started to play. The acoustics were cool. Bouncing off building walls, the sound was caught in that one little street corner.

Gren could spot the sound of a tenor saxophone a mile away. It was his instrument of choice. But who else in this miniscule town played saxophone? Gren was curious. He followed the jazz all the way to a street corner, ironically right by the Blue Crow. Someone Gren had never seen before, wielding a saxophone, right before his eyes. Not only that but there was a crowd before him, applauding and cheering him on.

Out of the corner of his eye Midvalley saw only one woman. Probably the only one in this town. She was wearing a dress, and her dark hair did well to cover her face. Midvalley finished up his little jazzy run, and winked at the woman over there. She didn't really respond to his signal well. Hey, if you can't please 'em with your looks, impress them with your tunes. "This one is for the babe." Midvalley put the instrument up to his lips and began playing a tune he learned awhile back in F major.

He was winking? At Gren in a dress? Gren was starting to get annoyed. This guy was taking away Gren's popularity. Gren was known throughout the town for his saxophone playing. And this guy was just as good- no, he was hardly as good at Gren. And Gren could easily prove that. He looked up at the Blue Crow, only two stores down. Gren kept one of his saxophones there, and one at home. It would be easy to get it and show up this guy. Besides, he was only playing in F major. What a lame key.

Midvalley could tell he was losing the girls attention. She seemed more interested in some bar a little ways down. When he was done with his song he smiled at her. "What? You can't appreciate a little song dedicated to you?" He asked her. Everyone else was impressed. Why wasn't she?

Gren glanced from the guy to the Blue Crow. "Don't move." Gren commanded, and rushed into the bar. He went to the back room, and found his saxophone. "Okay, Vicious." He said to his instrument. Yes, he named it after his favorite man in the universe. "We've got a challenge." He told more himself than Vicious. Setting it up, he played a quick jazz scale. Yep, it was good to go. Gren was so good he didn't even need to get fully warmed up. He proceeded back outside to where the other man was. "You're taking away my title." Gren said, making his voice a little higher than normal. He was wearing woman's clothes for no real reason whatsoever. He might as well play the part too.

She was turning out to be one hot babe. Midvalley had never dealt with a girl who played the same instrument as him. This was defiantly going to be interesting. "You play too?" He asked her. Hey, maybe they could play a duet or something.

"Of course I play." Gren said. The crowd of people steadily grew. Many of them knew Gren and his weird habits of playing dress up and walking around town. Of course it was obvious to most of them that was Gren. But this other guy, well, he was pretty good too. This was going to get heated.

Gren snapped his fingers, which fit the role of the woman nicely. "Bring it girlfriend." He told Midvalley. Gren put the saxophone to his lips and played a jazzy blues tune. It was a song he called Goodnight Julia. He learned it from a music box Vicious had given him awhile back. He played it nearly every night at the Blue Crow.

Midvalley stood back and admired her work. She wasn't bad. In fact, she might turn out to be just as good at him. But Midvalley wasn't about to get beaten by some _girl._ Heh, not this time. When she finished, the crowd applauded. Midvalley just grinned. "That was nice, but I like my songs upbeat." He started jamming out a true jazz tune. The crowd cheered him on. Midvalley was prancing around, having fun, playing his jazz. When he was finished he was greeted with a warm round of applause.

Gren rolled his eyes. "Everyone, please buckle your Seatbelts." Then he started to play an upbeat jazz tune too. In fact, this one also had a name. Gren simply called this one Tank! Of course, everyone knew the song Tank! Well, everyone except Midvalley. Midvalley liked it though. He might have to learn it from this chick. The crowd applauded this song the loudest.

Midvalley didn't want to get beaten so easily. "Alright alright, so we're both pretty good." He told Gren. "But how's your improvising skills?" He asked. "F major!" He shouted, telling Gren what key he was about to solo in and started playing notes which flowed quite nicely together.

His solo was pretty good. Gren didn't want to admit it though. He looked down at the side walk, thinking of what key he wanted to solo in, but the only thing that greeted his eyes was his foot, tapping to Midvalley's melody. "NO!" He shouted, and stomped his foot on the pavement, forcing the tapping to cease.

Midvalley stopped in the middle of his solo. "What? Am I too good for you little lady?" He asked Gren. "What's your name anyway? My name is Midvalley the Horn Freak, the 11th Gung-Ho-Gun."

"What? You're a hoe?" Gren asked Midvalley. "Well that's not surprising. Someone who plays as sleazy as you, girlfriend, nuh-uh." Gren snapped his fingers again, getting all up in his grill. "Tch, try soloing on the C# minor scale," Gren looked around for a moment, wondering if he should actually finish the sentence. "AND the F scale." The crowd gasped. But Gren could live up to his words. And the soloing commenced to a new two scale improvising battle.

Midvalley took a step closer to Gren. "That was intense honey cakes." He said as Gren finished his intricate solo. "But I've got a little secrete to tell you." He said in Gren's ear. "You see, it doesn't really matter what scales you can solo on."

Honey cakes? Who does this guy think he is? Gren just busted out the most insane solo ever and he was still calling Gren stupid pet names? That name could only be used by Vicious! Gren would make sure of that. Maybe Midvalley wasn't intimidated by Gren because Gren was in a dress and acting like a woman… "You know what, you're right. This goes way past scales." Gren agreed, ready to reveal that he wasn't a woman.

Midvalley smiled. "Good you think that. Because my secret is that I can blow stuff up." He informed Gren, proud of his uber cool skills.

Gren stared at him. Alright…this guy was crazy. What was he talking about? Blow stuff up? What the heck did that mean? Gren was seriously confused, but he really couldn't afford to be confused by his riddles. "Well, I've got a secret too." He said, speaking in his womanly voice the last time today. It was time for Gren to come out of the closet about his womanhood. "I'm no honey cakes of yours." Gren said, speaking in his normal voice now.

"Woah…what's wrong with your voice?" Midvalley asked Gren. This girl was…a guy! "What are you? Bisaxual!" He asked Gren, angered that Midvalley had fallen for such a pathetic attempt at a man being a woman. "Well, now I don't feel bad about doing this." Midvalley said, as he played a small rift on his sax. A lamp post on the street began to sway dangerously, and a moment later it fell, aiming for Gren.

Gren was quick on his feet (probably due to the breeze between his knees). He took three quick steps forward, and the lamp post crashed behind him. "Well take this!" Gren took a deep breath, and screamed it into the saxophone. A high pitched squeak reached everyone's ears, and Midvalley was forced to stop playing, because both hands clapped themselves of his ears. The crowd seemed to mimic Midvalley, in shielding themselves from the wrath of Gren's high pitched G#.

"Gahh! You're playing is torture!" Midvalley announced. But Gren's breath soon ran out, and Midvalley took advantage of it. He played a little something once again, and this time the gutter that Gren was standing near exploded.

All Gren could do was guess at what was going to explode next. He wasn't quick enough this time. His foot got caught in the miniscule explosion. He moved his foot out of harms way a bit too slow.

"Alright, let's try this again." Midvalley announced, and played his tenor sax faster this time. Time the sidewalk started to vibrate, being slowly affected by Midvalley's sound waves. It was clear what was going to explode next.

Gren jumped off the sidewalk into the middle of the street, his foot trailing blood. "Wait, we both play saxophone. Why can't I counter his sound waves with my own?" Gren asked himself. Well, anything was worth trying. Gren began playing a blues scale, trying to counter Midvalley's sound. Gren's sound waves collided with Midvalley's, and what seemed to be midair, exploded where the two sound waves collided.

Midvalley glared at Gren. How dare he ruin Midvalley's winning streak! "That's not all this baby can do." Midvalley said. Suddenly his saxophone opened up, to reveal various gun barrels hidden all over. "Alright, you." Midvalley said to Gren. Midvalley was the best saxophone player. He wasn't about to have Gren come and beat him. "You have to give up your saxophone or you're dead."

Gren was still in the middle of the road, trying to find a way to out play this guy, but Midvalley caught his attention rather quickly. "Give up playing saxophone?" He asked. "No way."

"Oh, you're going to. _I'm_ going to be the best around here. I'm epically not going to get beaten by some girly man." Midvalley told Gren. The two saxophonists stared each other down for only a moment. It was interrupted by Midvalley giving off a warning shot which missed Gren's head by inches.

"Woah…" Gren said, looking at Midvalley's saxophone. "You're…disgusting." Gren said. "Guns and saxophones? That's a disgrace to all sax players everywhere." Gren said, trying to now beat Midvalley with words.

"Stop your yapping. Put down the sax and walk away." Midvalley said, pointing his gun directly at Gren.

Gren looked at the crowd, then back at Midvalley. They were starting to get restless. "Just put it down Gren!" Someone shouted. "Yeah, we don't want trouble!" Another person jeered him on.

Gren nervously unhooked his saxophone from the neck strap. "Goodbye Vicious." Gren said as he parted with his saxophone. "I'll see you again. I promised." He placed it on the ground, and stared at it like it was some sort of god that had fallen from heaven.

"Good, now just do the walk away part." Midvalley told Gren. Ha. He had won. Midvalley was one again, the best saxophone player in the world. "Let's go, let's go!" Midvalley commanded Gren. His patience was running thin.

Gren took one step backward. But a though ran though his mind. Midvalley said to give up _his_ saxophone right? Then what was stopping him from playing the _alto_ saxophone? And he could name it Vicious the second! With this thought in the back of his mind he stepped further away from his saxophone.

"Good." Midvalley said, as he approached Gren's sax and picked it up. Hey, now he could play duets with himself. He had two saxophones. Of course, one had Gren slime all over the mouth piece. He was examining Gren's saxophone for a little bit, comparing it to his own, pointing out what was horrible about it. But by the time he was finished verbally bashing the instrument, Gren had run off somewhere. Ha, probably to go cry in a corner. What a loser. Well, Midvalley was done here for the day. He collected the money he had made, put his saxophone away, and tucked Gren's sax under his arm. He was going to keep it. Who knew, maybe they'd run into each other again. And if Midvalley had Gren's sax he would also have the upper hand, right?

"Thank you all for watching the amazing Midvalley the Horn Freak perform! I hope someday to return to your wonderful town. For now though, you can just spread the word that I am, once again, the best sax player. Ever." He announced to the crowd.

Little did Midvalley know Gren had run home, only to go to a most wonderful site called e-bay. And the first seven letters he typed were: Alto Sax.


End file.
